Out of Bounds

In our school, the tallest building is a finished skeleton standing 7 floors high, which I’m guessing is around 84 feet up. Though the building is unfinished, from the third floor up there are no walls, the first two floors are already being used.

My class used to have our math class there on the second floor. By the way, the building is called “Dubai” by most students so don’t get confused if I use the country to refer to the hulking skeleton. We also take our exams at the first floor, first room on the right.

Mid day of Nov. 9, 2009 a friend and I went to the second floor just get a little rest from all the walking we did all morning to finish the enrollment. We chose to stay on the last room on the right on the second floor. There was a breeze blowing through the large windows so the room was cool enough though the sun was hot. I guess we stayed there for about twenty minutes or so.

My friend and I just talked and talked. We talked about the first time we talked, about our studies, about why I have two PE classes (I’m dropping the other one because I’m supposed to get that next year) and of course we talked about something you would really expect two girls would talk about. Boys.

When Marinel (my friend) and I first talked it was when the two of us were pulled out of class to take part in a Prelude to the flag raising ceremony. Talked is the term I use because we already met in one class, ENGLISH 100.

During the Prelude, we met a guy I’m going to call Leaf (as in that of a tree). Leaf instantly became a close friend and he and I became even closer than that but I will not elaborate. Our little odd group of three used to be four but Sheena, also my classmate in ENG 100, dropped her course in, we assumed mid-August. This was what we were talking about. How we became Leaf’s friends, how we lost contact to Sheena and how we enjoyed each others company. Then as we were talking about Leaf we also started talking about the other guy, this one I’m going to call Cross.

Cross could be considered Leaf’s complete opposite. Quiet, gentle, yet big is how I would describe Cross while Leaf is noisy, rowdy and slight. Passive and aggressive are also two words that would describe them.

While we were talking, I remembered something that was definitely not a part of mine and Marinel’s conversation. It was a conversation between me and Cross. We were talking about the very building I was sitting in. I remembered he told me that he and his classmates had already reached the seventh floor and that the seventh floor looked more like a meadow than anything else.

As I was remembering, the room grew silent. I didn’t notice that Manel had stopped talking and that she was looking at me. How rude of me to neglect my friend and wander of in my mind. But then again, she wasn’t frowning or giving me that accusing look that made you feel as if you did something very wrong. She was smirking. I knew immediately that she was silently teasing me. My mind always wander when It’s about Leaf or Cross.

She asked what I was thinking. I answered with a casual “Nothing” and though she didn’t argue I know she wanted to tell me that I was thinking of either of the two. Thankfully she just kept quiet and contented herself with looking at me like I was an amusing child. It was annoying.

A few minutes later we decided to leave and head to the market since she wanted to buy something for her brother who was leaving for Quatar the next day. I agreed but I asked her to wait for me downstairs. She looked puzzled but didn’t ask. I watched her go and was still thinking if I really should go. I knew we weren’t allowed but I still wanted to go. I just…

Just what?

I just wanted to see for myself what the higher floors looked like? Just wanted to see if it was true that Cross and his classmates did bring and eventually left chairs on the third floor? Or is it that I just wanted to go where Cross went?

I don’t know the answer. I don’t think I want to know.

And so with those questions bouncing in my head, I climbed the stairs.

At the top of the stairs leading to the third floor there is a big piece of roofing material used as a blockage to try and stop students from going up. They might as well have put up a welcome sign because that definitely didn’t work. The piece of roof was pushed back to provide a small opening. I couldn’t imagine Cross fitting through it.

I was still thinking of whether I should go on up or go back down when I remembered what another friend told me. “Go where were not supposed to go and you would be surprised with what you’d find.” That settled it. I climbed.

I found myself looking into a place so full of filth. But in this place full of filth I found myself fighting back tears. These tears that signified the peace I so rarely find in and around me.

I was so happy to have come. I let the tears run their course.

A few minutes more, I climbed back down taking with me the image of that filthy rat-hole, that beautiful escape. When I reached where Manel was waiting for me I knew she was seeing what I felt on my face. Swollen eyes and a runny nose. Evidence of the simple things that provoke violent reactions from my heart.

To the world, a heartfelt hello.

Since it’s my first time to write an actual blog entry in an actual blog site, I am quite uneasy because I am not used to letting others know what I feel and think. I usually bottle it up and most likely I am bound to forget about it until something barges in and shatters the bottle on the floor whether by accident or on purpose, and the I implode.

Anyhow, it is already 12:58 am Nov. 3, 2009 here in the Philippines so I bid you all a pleasant “MOR-NIGHT”!!